After two years and one semester at my current university, I have come to realize many things. I am no longer growing nor thriving in the current circumstances I am in. Long gone is the anticipation of educational pursuance, and the motivation that once drove my ambition, is slowly fading away. The surroundings and environment that once teased and excited my senses have come to be nothing more than a nuisance. That time has come to make a change and gain back that child-like ability to make everything seem brand new. At this point in my life I have two choices: continue to try and force myself to enjoy this experience or enter into a new experience where the pleasure can overwhelm me. The choice doesn’t seem that difficult but the simplest decisions can actually be the most powerful.
After a year of deaths, tears, torn families, finding myself and losing myself, a broken heart and a broken engagement, a new passion and a lost gift, a lot of pleasure and a lot of pain, all I have left is my spirituality and my education. Those two things I took for granted until they were all I was left with, and now, they are all I hold onto. Where is it stated that the foundation of life must be built on one set thing? Happiness alone cannot sustain life, just as living on air alone will not keep us living for long. Being the prideful human beings we are, we may never admit it, but those things we claim to be better off without, are usually the things we need the most. We need other people, we need our spirituality, we need our education, we need our sanity, we need expansion, we need challenges, and we need love.
Fear has been the cause of many great endeavors never being established. It stops us from pursuing our goals, it takes our voice away, and ultimately it takes the control of our lives right out of our hands. We tend to run from things or run to other things when our situations start to scare us, not understanding that those very things and situations we run from, are actually where we are supposed to be. How can we grow if we don’t face our fears? How do we even know that thing we call our “past” is not actually our future? In doing this, we lose control of our lives and in return let fear and monotony dictate our future. Our interest turns to apathy and our passion turns to routine; that is not life.
In the coming years, my life plan is to pursue my goal of becoming a physical therapist. Out of all the blandness that I have let slip into my life, that is one of the few things that shines some color onto my journey. I have changed my career paths many times, but whatever I choose, I commit to. It has been a long and rough two and a half years of schooling but I still stuck in there, even if only by the minimum requirements. Regardless of the process by which I am obtaining my goals, I can say I’m still fighting. I need an opportunity not based on what my past has shown me to be, but what I now am proving myself to be capable of. I’m ready to take advantage of my education, ready to branch out where I can learn something new and not re-learn what has been lectured to me numerous times. I am ready to explore and immerse myself in the diversity of the world, and the challenges and opportunities it has to offer. I am ready to open my eyes to what has been staring me in the face the whole time, waiting for me to notice it and finally make it mine. I am ready for life; and without even realizing it, I have accomplished the very point I have been trying to prove; I am ready.
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